For the benefit of my foreign readers my title refers to the Welsh, the Scots and the Northern Irish. Quite how or why we sensible, intelligent, normal, English people have ended up with this assortment of loons I do not know! Mind you, now I think about it, some of those English who live 'ooooop north' are a bit peculiar and, as is well known, the inhabitants of East Anglia look rather suspiciously like each other, and as for the 'Brummies' (inhabitants of Birmingham), well, they only have to string more than two sentences together in their droning, monotonous accent and the world nods off! London, of course, contains absolutely no English people at all. So, if it is your pukka, true-blue Englishman you are looking for then I can only urge you to visit 'Zummerzet', although I would urge you to bring a dictionary!
Now where was I? Oh, yes, the Micks! You can always rely on them for some eccentricity and just recently their 'legal' system threw up a beaut! Apparently, some homosexual was getting married and approached a baker to order up a suitable wedding cake. He insisted that it must bear the inscription "Support Gay Marriage". The couple who run the bakery are practicing Christians and whilst they were happy to make the cake they refused to produce the inscription because it was against their beliefs.
Needless to say, the outraged homosexual rushed off to the courts with the assistance of some outfit calling itself the Northern Ireland Equality Commission - yeeeeeees, quite! Eventually, the case came up and the court, rather sensibly, threw it out. However, not satisfied with that, the NIEC appealed and the decision was reversed. A certain Mr. Michael Wardlow from the NIEC said:
‘Ashers [the bakers concerned] now know that if they make an offer for cakes their offer is unqualified. Gareth had the right to have his offer met.’
I am thinking of ordering a cake from 'Ashers' with the following inscription:
Michael Wardlow and the NIEC are one-eyed dictatorial plonkers
If you have any better suggestions, do let me know but keep them legal and decent!