So, a politician and a 'elf 'n' safety man walk into a train station: . . . to give a press conference on, er, 'elf 'n' safety on the railways and the first thing the politician does is to stand on the bright yellow strip painted, no doubt at vast expense by another 'ef 'n' safety man, to warn you not to stand too close to the platform edge because, like, well, really, really fast trains hurtle through quite often because, you know, it being a railway station and all that! Aw hell, just watch the movie and say thank you to IHTM for the best laugh this week:
Watch out! There's an 'Arkie' in town: No, alas, not our favourite commenter, 'JK' - crikey, perish the thought, we've only just got over the blitz! - but Mr. Billy Bob Thornton, the extremely versatile American actor who, like a great many other Hollywood stars, has finally given in to the attractions of a TV series. This one is called Fargo, the same name as the famous Coen brothers film although this one has a different story line. Apparently they have given the enterprise their blessing but have had no hand in its production. Thirteen episodes starting tonight at 9.00pm on Channel 4 - set your recorders - and that's an order!
And, lo, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth: Well, there was in an article by Karin McQuillan at The American Thinker today on the plight of the Jews. No, no, not those Jews living in Israel but the rapidly dwindling number of Jews in America. This is a subject I have touched on before and regular readers will be aware of my deep prejudice concerning Jews - I really admire them! In fact, I would be delighted and proud if some Nazi ran a check on my blood lines and discovered I was part-Jewish. I hasten to make clear that the Americans are not exterminating their Jews via concentration camps, they are simply seducing them with liberal group-think. Ms. McQuillan sums it up thus:
When I was growing up there were 6 million Jews in America. America has grown by thirty percent since then, but the number of Jews has shrunk to 5 million.
Read it and weep!
Not POTUS but Big Chief Fauxcahontas: It's true that in our political circles we have our fair share of fantasists, poltroons and just plain lying liars but we rarely hit the heights of make-believe achieved by our American 'cousins'. Personally, I blame Hollywood! All of that brings me to Sen. Elizabeth Warren (Democrat - natch!) who would have us believe that she is part red Indian - yeeeeeeeeeeees, quite! - as that poor chap is trying to say in the photo below:
I think her claim is based on the fact that her great-great-great-great grandmother was Cherokee. It obviously failed to make much impact on her maternal great grandfather from the allegedly Cherokee side of the bloodline because in 1906 he was featured in his local newspaper which described him as white and reported that he shot a real Indian! Of course, all this is a great joke but for a full belly-shaker you must await 2016 when, if 'HillBilly' decides she's too old and too ugly to run (it's true, darling!), then 'Faucahontas' is ready, willing and able and the 'cousins' being as 'stoopid' as most electorates will probably vote her into the 'White Wigwam' and 'Dim Dave' will be invited over for a 'pow-wow'. Such fun!
'The Wire' is alive in Chicago: If, like me, you miss that terrific TV series The Wire then you can easily experience the real thing by moving to Chicago. The original was set in Baltimore but that ghastly little shit crafty mayor of Chicago, Rham Emanuel, has imported the entire show into the 'Windy City' where the latest parlour game is called 'spot the real crime stats'!
I confess that I have been picking up recent signals to the effect that the murder rate in Chicage was actually dropping! I can remember shaking my head in disbelief but moved on to more important matters. However, today, courtesy of IHTM, I have just read a long - warning: very long! - article at a magazine site called, appropriately enough, CHICAGO. This is one of the finest pieces of journalism I have seen for a very long time. It is long because it is detailed. Not the least of its discoveries, which did not surprise me in the slightest, was the fact that the techniques used by the Chicago 'carps' are more or less the same as those deployed by our 'plods', in other words, deliberate obfuscation, or, lying, as we old-fashioned types call it.
No more rumbles